D's Daughter Ditto
by Gama-Kiwi
Summary: Count D has a new pet, and, this really isn't a surprise, it's not what Detective Leon Orcot expects. Join Leon as he meets the count's "daughter"!
1. An Arrival

**It's a PSOH fanfic! Yay! This idea popped out at me one day, so I had to write it down. This is gonna go quite slow for a while, but I can propbably speed it up in the next chapter or so. Here we go!**

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Count D stood solemnly still as he stared out the window. The typical sounds of his pet shop were gone, as each creature, both known and unknown to the modern man, tasted the anticipation in the air.

"Kyu!" squeaked Q-Chan, courageously breaking the silence. D glanced at the bunny bat creature resting on his shoulder. He scratched its chin.

"Yes, Q-Chan. It's today. The moment we have been waiting for is around the corner. We must prepare for its arrival right now."

***

"Yo, Count!" Leon Orcot yelled, the jingle of the shop's doorbell dying behind him.

"Ah, Detective Orcot, welcome! You're just in time to have some of this delicious cake! I didn't make this one, but it looks so yummy! The shop man said that this is the best ice cream cake in all of China Town!" The count came in, holding a large cake with a thick layer of icing on it.

"What the hell?! That's a huge cake! What's the freking occasion, it's not even tea time yet! Gosh, just looking at that would make a diabetic die…"

"Does it have to be tea time to enjoy something delicious?" D set the cake on a table, and went back to his kitchen to get small china plates. Orcot sat on the couch, observing the count. D was acting like his cheerful self, but…_ Something's not right…underneath that shell of happiness…what is he really feeling?_

"Okay, so maybe it doesn't have tea time, but a whole ice cream cake? It doesn't seem cheap either, so why buy a cake for no reason?" He scooped a bit of the cake into his mouth. _Damn, it's surprisingly good…_

Count D smirked, making Orcot involuntarily shiver. "Why, we are celebrating of course. Today, the birth of something magnificent is about to happen."

"Ugh, what is it? Another dragon? I can't deal with another one of those…" A mental image played in his mind of a Godzilla-like thing terrorizing the city.

"Better. This creature is so rare, that this may be the absolute last one of its species. I have in my shop the very last known egg in the world…And it only has a few hours left before it is born."

***

"Eeek! Eeek!" Q-Chan squeaked in fear, interrupting a story being told by the detective.

"Jeesh, what the frick is that thing's problem? Hey, quiet down or else you're gonna get a mouthful of pillow!"

"My dear detective, don't you understand? It's hatching! Oh, I'm about to become a father!" Leon just stared at the Chinese man, who was practically dancing in his happiness. _If he's so happy, why do I sense some…sadness, underneath? ...It's probably because the baby will think the count's a woman. He sure does look like one with all the freking dresses he wears!_

"Wait a minute, father? Wow, you seem to be taking it all too literal. It's just another pet, right?"

Count glared rather coldly at the other male. "Detective Orcot, my pets are not just mere animals. They are companions who bring happiness and joy to the people. I not only sell friends for lonely people, I sell dreams and love."

_Yeah. They're all fun and cuddly until they start eating their owner. What's that phrase? They bite the hand that feeds?_

The count continued. "Besides, this one is rather special. There have been few seen in the wild, and even less in captivity. Getting this egg was not an easy or cheap matter. Plus, they take a very long time to hatch, so during the time spent in the egg, which could as long as decades, they must be taken great care of." The detective just looked on, uninterested in all that the count said.

"Oh, forget you! You're hopeless. I must see its hatching! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!" Count D skipped down the hall, with Orcot reluctantly following him.

After walking through the seemingly endless hallway filled with hundreds of doors, they finally entered a great chamber, completely pitch black save for a small table and one heat lamp over a pearly, almost translucent gray egg about the size of a baseball. _Wow. All this excitement for a fugly egg?_ The egg rocked back and forth quite energetically. Orcot noticed that it seemed to grow slightly bigger one second, and then shrunk the next. _Must be the dark playing tricks on me…_

"Oh, I'm about to become a father!" exclaimed Count D yet again. He was hopping on one foot, switching to the other quickly. Leon stared in disbelief. _It's like Christmas for him…_

**KRAKK!!** The egg released a sound more deafening than the fireworks of the fourth of July. A single, tiny shard of the shell, the size of a dime, fell off. The blonde man picked it up, and dropped it immediately. It was freezing, colder than a bucketful of ice cubes. _What the…_ he could not finish his thought, as he was then blinded by a great light coming from the egg. It shook violently, rocking the whole table and causing the heat lamp to fall off and break. The detective crouched on the ground, shielding his eyes with one hand and reaching for his gun with the other. The count merely stood still with his signature mysterious smile on his face. His eyes told another story, though. Even though he was happy for the arrival of this magnificent creature, he was scared and filled with sorrow. This creature will have a more than difficult life, but he will not worry about that now. The count must be sure that it survives its hatching first.

Another flash of blinding light, another ear clashing crack, and then…nothing. Silence. Leon stood up carefully and looked at the table…or what was left of it. The legs were broken off so it now laid on the floor, a pile of wood and splinters. The egg shell laid beside it, looking more like jigsaw puzzle pieces. In the middle of them was a…blob. A gray, silly putty-looking blob. _That freking thing caused all of this? It's uglier than the egg! _The blob moved around a little, as if it was confused. The count kneeled down and carefully scooped the thing into his cupped hands.

"What the hell, D?! Not only is that thing not a creature, it's a freking weapon! Look what the frick it did! Just what the hell-" He stopped. The count held it the blob like he was cradling it, but that wasn't the reason why Leon stared gaping. The thing was glowing bright again. It wriggled and squirmed around, and it appeared to be growing limbs and a head. A few seconds later, the transformation was complete. In Count D's arms laid a naked human baby. It curled into a small ball against his chest and yawned, falling into a deep sleep.

"…What the…" Leon looked at D's face and gave a start. The count was crying. Not bawling, but a few tears dripped down his smooth, porcelain-like skin. Leon stood shocked. He has never seen the man cry, so he had no idea of what to do or say. He had no idea if they were tears of joy or of sadness, so he was still, unsure of what to do.

After a long pause of silence, D looked up at the American. "My dear detective, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid tea time is over. You must leave now."

"Uh…sure. Yeah. I have to go anyway. My shift starts soon, so…yeah…" Leon was about to say a few words more, but he then abruptly turned around and left the dark chamber. After finally finding his way out of the hallway, he found to his surprise that it was evening now, and what seemed like only thirty minutes was really about two hours. He cursed under his breath and ran out the door.

The count looked out the window, watching the detective sprint up the street. He sighed and closed the shop. After locking the door, the animals crept out of their rooms, treading quietly to the count, as if they were scared of the baby he still held in his arms.

T-Chan was the first to speak. "So, did it go well?"

"Yes, did it?" The little raccoon, Pon-Chan, asked.

Count D was silent as he glanced down at the sleeping child cradled in his arms. "Yes, I think so..." He walked to the couch and sat down carefully. The animals walked towards him and gathered around the child. T-Chan smirked. "She looks so weak, it seems impossible that all the commotion came from her."

D just held the baby, his new daughter, close to him. Again, he started crying, and as he did, the animals came closer to him and tried to comfort him while the moon rose up to the sky.

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**Alright, so it's weird right now, but hopefully it'll get better. Comments, questions? Click that review box and type something in then, please!**

**~Kimi, Gama-Kiwi  
**


	2. A Bit Too Much To Handle

**Wow, I honestly wasn't expecting so many people to read this story, and I even got a couple of reviews! This makes me so happy! Thank you all, especially these people here who have shown enough interest to review or favorite this story: Anabel Sinclair, Sarunei, kiera666, Countess Ozaki D, Bloody Midnight, and Siresin. I cannot express my gratitude enough! Okay, I'll stop babbling now. Here's chapter two!**

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**Leon trudged down the street, grumbling to himself. All of his coworkers have finally convinced him to go check up on Count D. Last time anyone saw him was a little more than a week ago, the detective being the very last person to meet with him. He closed his shop and never opened it back up since the day that…blob…hatched. Everyone was worried, and Orcot had to admit that it was weird…and suspicious. _He's hiding from the law, I know it! He could easily be the guy who went all ninja on that shop keeper and stole the money! It's gotta be him!_

He marched up to the back entrance and knocked loudly on the door. Almost immediately, as if he stood behind the door waiting for the detective, the door opened and the count appeared. He looked completely stressed and tired. He beckoned Orcot to come inside and quickly closed the door behind him. Orcot looked around, surprised that the shop was quite messy. Despite the hundreds (thousands, maybe?) of animals living in his shop, the count usually kept the place spotless. _Something's been up,_ Leon thought, observing the shop with a sharp eye, trying to figure out what was wrong.

He turned around and was quickly taken aback at what he saw. Count D was, to be blunt, a mess. His usually smooth shiny hair now limped lifelessly. His "dress" was wrinkled, as if he wore it while he slept. _Come to think of it…wasn't he wearing the same exact dress last week? Hell, I know I usually confuse them all, but now I am sure it's the same!_ Leon glanced away from the slightly depressing sight. He saw again the disorderly room and noticed that it was worse than he thought. Empty tea cups around the room, half-eaten sweets, and so much more…it was as if the animals were the ones running the place now.

"Count, what the hell happened to you? You…and the shop…this isn't like you! Just wha-" He stopped. There was something strapped to D's back…something moving…Leon whipped his gun out and aimed it at the Chinese man. The creature revealed itself…and the detective fell to the floor.

"What the hell…" he gasped.

"Hello!" A voice almost sang out. Count D smiled his suspicious smile. "My child, meet a dear friend of mine, Detective Leon Orcot."

Peering over the count's shoulder was a young toddler, about two, three years old. She had short curly hair, like warm honey. Her big hazel eyes shone brightly in the semi-darkness, and underneath her small nose was a great smile.

"Who the fu…Who is she?"

Count D continued smiling as he picked her off his back and cradled her in his arms. "My dear detective, this is my daughter."

Leon just stared blankly. _His daughter? They look nothing alike! …Wait…his daughter…that's what he called that…thing…_

"Hold up. Are you seriously trying to tell me that…that BLOB is her?" The count merely nodded, too occupied with tickling the little giggling girl. _This doesn't make any sense. The blob…HATCHED a week ago. This girl is much older than a week. No one has seen the count since that day, so who knows when the count got her. All this evidence shows that the count is a pedophile! This is finally the time to bust D and arrest him! _Leon cleared his throat. "Cou-"

The clock interrupted him with its announcement of the new hour.

"Hmm. It's almost time for your celebration, my child. Before we begin, would you like to have tea with our dear Detective Orcot?" The child smiled and nodded her approval, so the count carefully strapped her on his back again and headed to the kitchen, with Leon following, grumbling. He knew well to not do anything too rash during the count's tea time.

Leon stood against the wall with his arms crossed lazily in front of him. He silently observed the young girl's actions, trying to visually check if there were any signs of abuse. There was nothing though. The relationship between her and Count D almost seemed…normal. _Of course, when the count's involved, nothing is normal,_ The American thought, frustrated. _But what the hell is the truth?_

Strapped onto her "father's" back, the girl stared at Leon. He, having nothing to do, stared back. They held each other's glance. No one stirred in the room except the count, who was making the tea and snacks and otherwise was oblivious to this random occurrence. _I can't believe that I'm having a staring contest with this kid, _the blonde man thought, mentally chiding himself. Still, he refused to drop his glare.

The girl then did something surprising. "Leon has pretty eyes," she said, grinning. This startled Leon and made him blink. "I win," she giggled.

"I'm not quite sure what you two are doing back there, but my child, it is not that difficult to make this dumb American lose." The count said, turning around with a tray of tea and cookies. With the girl strapped to his back and the furious American following, he went to the sitting room of the pet shop, where a few of the pets laid idly.

Leon nudged "that freakish goat thing" out of his favorite spot on the couch and received a not-so-friendly nip in return. After immediately checking for blood (there wasn't much, at least, not enough to call an ambulance for), he sat down and looked up at D. He was still standing, and Leon peered curiously at the count as he adjusted the toddler carrier thing on his chest. The child looked used to this, and spent the time babbling random stuff to the animals on the floor. _Weird, it looks like they're actually paying attention to her... _Leon continued his stare at the count, who finally sat down with child on lap and cup of tea in hand.

The detective took one sip of the tea and almost gagged. _DAMN! It is WAY too sweet!_ He peered over at the count and child. They both sipped their tea and nibbled on some sugary treat. He shook his head and thought, _If overindulging a child's sweet tooth was against the law, it would be too easy to bust D. If only._

Count D glanced at the clock. It was around the same time that his daughter was born. _My daughter…_ He sadly smirked at the thought. _My daughter doesn't even have a name yet. She's not going to have a 'normal' life. She will get hurt to the point where she will question her own existence. My job is to make sure she lives her life, however painful it may be. She must live to serve her purposes…_He looked down and caught her giggling and making faces at Leon. _I hope that she can still find reasons to smile like that in the future..._

He put down his now empty cup of tea and stood. Leon, filled with a sudden sense of anticipation, awkwardly stood up with the count. The child silenced herself and glanced up at D. The pets of the shop were also silent as they felt the tension in the air. They knew what was about to happen. Everyone but the American understood what was going on.

After a moment, Count D turned to him. "My dear detective, it is quite a pleasure to have you today to witness my daughter's ceremony. I assure you that you will never forget what you're about to see."

Leon just stared blankly at the count. _What the hell is he talking about?_

The count ignored him, though, and started talking to a chinchilla that was on the floor. "Excuse me, Rue-chan, would you mind if we used you for her ceremony?" Leon peered puzzlingly at the rodent. _Did it just freking nod?_

The little girl clapped her hands in excitement. "It's time! It's time!"

The Count quietly set released her from the carrier. The girl was absolutely happy, but D…he was shaking. He was visibly afraid, but only Leon and the pets noticed.

_I have to let her try now, before it's too late. She has to do it. If she doesn't, she can die. If it doesn't work, she can die. Death is around every corner, but if we don't try now…_ Count D closed his eyes and set her on the floor.

Leon watched with interest. The girl tried standing up, but her legs wobbled and soon gave way. After the shock had passed, she giggled and started to crawl. The animals scattered away from her, all except the chinchilla, that is. It stood nervously still as the toddler came towards it. She reached out her hand to pet it, and everyone held their breath, even Leon, who had no idea what the hell was going on.

**POOF! **The girl was suddenly covered with a strange cloud. The chinchilla squeaked in fear and ran off to who knows where as she began coughing. Alarmed, the American reached out to grab her, but D held him back. His eyes were filled with worry as he gazed at the cloud that was slowly disappearing. Both men watched it for their own reasons. The count did to see if she survived, and the detective did because he didn't know what else to do (the count's grip on him prevented him from doing anything else.)

The cloud finally faded enough so that you could see hazy outlines. Well, you could see outlines if there were any…Leon kept staring at the space where the girl was supposed to be. All that was left was a chinchilla. _Wait a minute…the original chinchilla was grey…this one has like brown hair…almost like honey…honey colored hair…what the…_

Count D released the American and walked slowly, carefully, to where the new chinchilla rested. He gently picked it up and placed it on the palm of his hand. He turned to face Leon.

"My dear detective, it seems I need to introduce you two again. This is my daughter." He raised his hand closer to his face, and the chinchilla on it faced Leon. "Hello, Leon!" It spoke in the girl's voice.

A couple of seconds later, the very manly Leon Orcot fainted and fell to the floor.

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**So...how is it? I know, it's still going slow, but I'm trying, I'm trying. I'll take compliments, complaints, criticism, anything, just please review! It would mean so much!**

**Oh, and just so you know, I won't be able to work on this story for a while. School, homework, other stuff, I'm so busy :( I also want to work on the other fanfic I have going on, so I'll switch stories every time I finish a chapter. Alright, I'll stop now, but remember, I like reviews!**

**~Kimi, Gama-Kiwi  
**


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